do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
