The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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