imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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