Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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