i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
