mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
