I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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