I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
