I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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