ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
