Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
