You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
