PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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