"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
