Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
