All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
