girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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