We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
