I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
