I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
