I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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