you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
