yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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