We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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