I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize