I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
