Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
