Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
