remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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