dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
