I think my vagina is haunted
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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