my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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