i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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