sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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