Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
