Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
