Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
