Hey man sorry I got all grabby
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize