we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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