It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
