I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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