Sponge bath it is.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
