I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
