You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
