You work out of a Hotel?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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