remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
