remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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