I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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