I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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