No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
