dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
