"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
