Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
