S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
