No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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