Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
