now i know why i became what i already was.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
