Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
