dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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