I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
