look no pants
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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