I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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