She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize