Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
