Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
