I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I am available for nakedness
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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