I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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