we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
