eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
