I just gift wrapped bread.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
