Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize