So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
