Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
