She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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