I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize