Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
