I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
